I am well aware that in order for one to read this post, one (me) must actually post it. So without further ado I am pleased to introduce you to your new BFF Mrs. T.
I was
delighted when Miss B. offered me the role of "Hump Day Guest
Blahgger." To have a title somewhat lewd in tone truly suits my
personality. "We made it to Hump Day!" or "Happy Hump Day!" is a phrase
I am very familiar with having been a drone in Corporate America for
the past 9.8 years. The most vicious attacks utilizing this phrase
are generally launched while trying to quietly prepare my morning
coffee and are often uttered by the middle-management yahoos who feel
some sort of need to rally us uninspired low level employees. I must
say that to my ears it comes off as odd. "Hump" generally congers up
images of my mother's late Cockapoo, Mr. Snickers, and a whole host of
other National Geographic related animal imagery. If I get my mind out
the gutter for two seconds and put "hump" into its proper context - a
rounded or raised mass of earth (according to Oxford's) - is it really
all that exciting? A hump is far from a mountain. I'm sure a hump
wouldn't intimidate any respectable hill and, in that case, is it
really such a grand achievement that we have made it to Hump Day?
Furthermore I can't grasp why at 9am I am being congratulated for
having endured such strife as it is in fact only 9am and I haven't done
a damn thing. Since Monday is generally spent recuperating from Sunday
and Tuesday spent watching the latest on YouTube, do I really deserve
any accolades? Perhaps it would be more appropriate to acknowledge
corporate endeavors Wednesday evening after we have presumably
completed at least a small fraction of work or at least pretended to do
so (which can be equally as difficult, trust me). "Happy Hump Night
Everyone!" - but that brings us right back to the gutter and a
potential harassment suit to boot. So having said all that, like Amy
Poehler's character in Mean Girls - I'm gonna try and serve up some
Hump Day Treats as it is now my sworn duty to bolster the fact that we
are indeed halfway through the week and we are all gonna make it out of
this cube-jungle alive.
I will be filling the coming Wednesdays with rants, er intelligent
conversation, about such important topics as cupcakes, how a
convertible can make you instantly popular in Los Angeles and what I
should be for Halloween. I'm happy to entertain any questions on any
subject as you can clearly see I am a crazy as any therapist and
therefore just as qualified.
Until next time folks,
Mrs. T.
And if by now you have the Humpty Dance song stuck in your head, you wouldn't be alone...
