Blah,Blah,Blahg

LIKE A TALL DRINK OF WATER FOR MY FACE....

My skin has been as dry as the Sahara for the past few years. No, nix that, it's drier.  I feel like if I smile too wide my face will crack in half, thus I have stopped smiling, blinking, raising my eyebrow coyly.  Basically I eschew any movement in my facial region.  It's a tough way to live, try it some time.  I have done and tried almost everything short of seeking out professional help (both for my skin and my obvious mental problems).  Then the other day a miracle happened.  I was in Sephora with gift certificate in hand ready to do some retail therapy, I bought some nonsense that I wouldn't buy normally (a perfect thing to do when you are using a certificate) and I received a small tube of the above pictured product.  Did I mention my skin is dry?  Well, it seems that most companies try to push uber thick creams that purport to help with dry skin but are just wax centric. Wax just makes my face feel dry and waxy, a pleasant sensation--I jest. This product above well it's as light as water, it sinks into my skin but not so much that I feel like I need to re-apply in 5 minutes, it's magic.  I feel hydrated and dare I say just this side of dewy?  I haven't been dewy since the 4th grade, this truly is a miracle. It is a little more pricey than the drugstore counterpart I have been using but since I need so little to do the job it may actually work out to be a better deal in the long run, plus it works!  I am giving this product two thumbs up (but only because that's all I have, it deserves more).

THIS WORKS!

{sally hansen insta-dry nail polish}

Holy cow!  A product that actually does what it purports to do, how unusual?!  I am on a SERIOUS budget.  I am never a big shopper but I do indulge in a manicure and pedicure a few times a month and well it's adding up.  I needed to go cold turkey on this habit BUT I still needed to look polished for my very fancy job (and my Fancy of course).  I can't just go around with chipped nails and raggedy cuticles now can I? I was at the pharmacy for some very exciting cough drops and this product caught my attention as a possible professional mani + pedi substitute. Results? For lack of a better descriptive--IT SUCKED! It dried a dull matte and was very streaky, since I had opted for a pale, pale color it looked like I painted my nails with Wite-Out.

Good thing I bought at CVS as they happily took my yucky product back and I replaced it with the above lovely--Insta-Dry nail polish in Rapid Red (a really, really great red) It also happened to be half the price of the original purchase so I was getting excited here.  I love to feel like I am saving.  Anyways, I took the polish home did my version of a home mani + pedi.  The cuticle remover I use is from Sally Hansen as well (their products are very top notch), I have had it for nearly 2 years.  It works and is a bargain if you consider how many times I have used it and have still not made a dent in it. I have seen it for as low as $1.99!  Back to the polish right?  It's thicker than normal polish and has a very wide flat brush which is a little unweildy at first but I actually liked it.  It took only a couple of strokes to cover my nail bed (and I am not the most patient nor neatest when it comes to doing this myself). Some say it's not as shiny but I beg to differ it's very glossy and get this, it ACTUALLY dries in 60 seconds!  DRY!  I have never had a nail polish dry this fast especially a red.  I am almost invariably messing up my nails hours later it seems when I go to the pro's. This is a find I tell ya! I am so happy with this purchase I could cry.  This just means more money towards the miniature animal farm and that makes me very happy.

PLUMP POTION REVIEW

{plump potion}

You really can't tell from the pic how very cool this packaging is but I give it an A+++.  For a drugstore brand (Physicians Formula) this packaging is crazy cool.  The glass like gloss is in a very mod, extra thick acrylic cylinder with hypothermic needle measurements printed in opaque white on the side.  In real life you barely see the 'plump potion' writing it just  looks like clear mod loveliness.  We have established two things here-- my favorite 'color' is clear and I am easily distracted by shiny things, so this product was going into impulse buy history.  How does it work you ask?  I don't mind it at all.  The first time I tried it tingled and some have suggested on line that it hurts but those are not beauty warriors like myself that will take tons of pain for my beauty regime (bikini wax anyone?) the formula is not that shiny on, which is good because I am soooo over my phase of lip gloss that looks like I have been sucking on pork chops (thank goodness!) and the plumping effect?  It didn't really work on me but it did smooth some of the little lines we all have on our lips which I suppose made the appearance seem a bit juicier, perhaps? Would I buy it again?  Probably not, I am more of a lip balm kinda girl but I am not sorry that I did make the purchase (better than the tissue and cough drops I had gone into the store for in the first place).

My friend Delia says the secret to a plump pucker is putting on lip balm before you go to sleep, I think that's an easy enough tip that we can try it out, no?  And you dear pretties? Do you have a beauty secret you want to share?  I am always willing to try new beauty ideas out, nope it never gets old.  Next week I am doing a review on this product, I know, it's seems too good to be true, but is it?

LIGHTS, CAMERA , LASHES!

This was the other mascara that was part of my birthday booty from my bestie Jules. You know her as Miss K on the Bright Side Project or as uhm, Jules on Pancakes & French Fries.  Not only is she an amazing wordsmith and is funny as all get out, she is as thoughtful as the days are long.  Seriously two expensive mascara's in one fell swoop?  I don't even treat myself this good. I really wanted to try this and was seduced by the Buxom mascara so this laid in waiting.  Honestly both Jules and I didn't think this wand looked like anything special, but people were giving it rave reviews but what do they know from mascara? Jules and I are experts after all not just any ol' mascara will past the test.  Are you ready for my review? Can you hear that noise?  Shhh, lean in closer...It's the sound of my VERY, LONG, LUSCIOUS LASHES FLUTTERING COYLY IN THE ETHER, that's right I am screaming!  This stuff ROCKS! It's all natural to boot! My lashes are jet black, long, thick and fabulous.  Really I didn't care about thickness with the length as astonishing as it was but it was there for sure and I couldn't be happier. There is not a whole lot that can make me grin all day like the discovery of mascara mecca but I have found it (for now) and I am going to revel in this moment...

TWO SECONDS TO GORGEOUS A.K.A. MISS B'S BEAUTY SCHOOL-BLUSH

A not so lifetime ago I was a fashion publicist, in fact, I would like to call myself THE fashion publicist to the indie set.  If you don't believe you are the best than no one else will.  PR is hard. One of the hardest parts was photo shoots.  I am easily bored if I don't have constant stimulation and let me tell you a photo shoot is not that fun (especially when you are sitting next to a size negative zero amazon that is entirely too good looking to be alive and happens to be smart and witty and getting paid more than you make in six months, I digress...). 

I found myself often poking around the makeup area and harassing the artists hoping they had the secret to supermodel-dom in a bottle.  I am going to share the one 'secret' that will take you from Blah to WOW in 2 secs--creme/sheer blush.  Okay, that's not the only secret, the blush MUST look nuclear reactive in the pot/container.  The thing that NO ONE tells you is that the brighter the color of the creme blush the more NATURAL it looks on your face.  WTH? The blushes are invariably formulated much more sheer than they appear.  When you take your fingers (YES FINGERS) and swipe some color and add to your cheeks you will be amazed that you have a fresh faced natural glow.  I stay away from most powdered blushes BUT I have found that the mineral blushes are the only powdered blushes that will get near that same effect (I think it's because the pigment doesn't sit on top of the skin) BUT the color must look like a carnival is coming to town. Stay away from the neutrals-anything beige, brown, taupe, mauve, etc.  Those leave a flat I AM WEARING BLUSH look (or I am auditioning for the Rocky Horror Picture Show look).  You don't want that, you want to look impossibly fresh faced, this is the GLOW factor. I know I expound on the glory of mascara but really if I am going to the grocery store, to walk the girls, a matinee with the Fancy (you get the picture) I am throwing on some tinted moisturizer, my creme blush (Tarte and Korres above are my FAVES) and I am out the door.  I ALWAYS get complimented on how young I look for my age (I am as old as you can get for a young person) and I KNOW it's the blush because it tricks people into believing that I am a sweet faced, young thing.  It works.  I have no idea why this info isn't readily available?  Why are cosmetic companies still making powdered, flat blushes and not concentrating on products that actually make you look like you have a natural blush?  Have you ever seen a person blush taupe?  I rest my case. I am a pretty much a hard core Tarte sheer blush fanatic they have an all natural version as well and Korres lip and cheek butter is all natural and pretty dynamite (only $9, it will last you months!).  I am not a fan of the liquid sheer blushes. They are dangerous in the hands of a woman that can't pay attention also, I have sun spots on my cheeks (think freckles but not as charming) and the pigment seems to highlight the spots and is NOT the look I am going for, same goes for gel blushes they sort of sit on my hyper pigmentation and they dry faster than I can blend--not attractive. I promise you this little secret will change your life.  I am serious, it's basically goof proof and you will have people complimenting you on how fresh you look, how natural (even when you are wearing a ton of foundation, concealer, primer and powder!). Your face will look alive, awake, glowing, just perfect in 2 secs...

A side note, in a pinch you can use a tinted lip balm on your cheeks. This is only if you are stranded on a desert island because it is glossier than the formuated creme/sheer blush and it won't last as long (you may get your hair stuck in it as well) but it works if you don't have your blush on you and you need a 'lift'.